Pondering

The Tarot Experiment: September

Tarot has always been a hobby of mine. Although I’m not thoroughly invested in its fortune telling abilities, I find it a really fun way to get my thoughts in order. So on that note, I thought a fun way to document my year on placement would be to throw out an annual tarot spread and see how each card compares to the actual events each month brings.

September’s card turned out to be Three of Swords. This card represents heartache and even more so when the card is reversed. The quote in my tarot guide reads: “Confusion and worry, a great upheaval that causes stress. The healing process has begun, even though you have a long way to go.”

This couldn’t have been more accurate if it tried. Unfortunately, my placement is located a considerable distance away from my previous city, which has cost me a 2 and a half year long relationship. As inappropriate as it may seem to document this detail, I want this blog to be a raw and honest recount of my year – and that includes acknowledging events and memories which might not all be rainbows and unicorn poop.

Regardless of whether tarot readings have any truth to them or not, I strongly believe that the healing process really has begun. Although there may be a long way to go and I’m inevitably feeling a bit sore, I can see through the tunnel to the end of this year and it still has a warm and encouraging fire burning slowly on the other side.

This is a time to get to grips with what I love doing again. Lots of handcrafting is definitely a priority for next month and I’m going to be learning from two lovely entrepreneurial ladies how to build a business from scratch. It’s time to put my best foot forward and step confidently into a new academic year.

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Are We Supposed to Hate What We Write?

More often than not, I would look back on pieces that I have written and comment on how much I disliked the work that I had published.

I ┬áthink we’ve all had a moment where we’ve looked at something we’ve done in the past and flinched. And the embarrassment often compels us to delete it or block it out or use whatever means are necessary to make it seem like it never existed.

But recently, I’ve come to see these experiences as similar to a splatter of colours across a blank canvas. If we stayed with the same opinions all of our lives, the canvas would be very bleak – linear, monochrome clone drawings that don’t tell us anything new or show any kind of journey. Each new splatter is personal and unique and makes the canvas a whole lot more meaningful than just a copy of a copy, terrified to make mistakes and explore.

So unless you were born as a fully evolved human being, then you will move on from the stages that you were at. I think its okay to acknowledge that you aren’t the person you were then. But don’t hate that person for how they made sense of the world, because who you are today is built on it. Nothing is permanent, so I think it is especially important to speak up and record our opinions whilst they last, even if we are afraid that we are wrong. Because the learning process is just as important, if not more so, than the conclusion we come to at the end.